janie golfing happier

Golf + Bubble Baths – Why I’m Happier as a Woman

I always knew that I was happier as a woman, but I’m only just starting to realize why.

I played golf today with a couple of my old male friends. I shanked my share and hit some plain stupid shots, but y’know what? It didn’t affect my mood one iota. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s not exactly the way it was in my prior life. Today, all I cared about was being outside on a beautiful day playing a fun game with friends. And, I was happy.

Read More»

Playing Hockey is the Weirdest Thing

janie the hockey playerI used to have a t-shirt that said, “Hockey is Life, the rest is just details.” Well, I was much younger back then… The details are everything now; and hockey has been a casualty until now.

A lot has happened in my life since I have written anything personal here. That simply playing hockey with my friends is such a big deal is but a hint. I used to play all the time, but as my feminine life took over, anything that required me to assume a male role kinda fell by the wayside. Now, as you can see by the photos, hockey no longer requires me to be a guy. And, reading between the lines, the other message is that all my old guy friends know that I am transgender and have been wonderful in accepting me and keeping me involved in our group.

Read More»

New Year

 New Year Eve Dinner

 

Looking back on 2014 – not the best year, not the worst. I hope to do much better in 2015. It is high time I followed my heart and conquered my fears.

I am so happy for the friendships that I have made and hope to be a better friend to those I love. But, for now, all I can say is thanks for putting up with me, flaws and all.

Happy New Year!

 

 

Normalcy – A Slice of Heaven

Is this the reality of being trans? That normalcy is a slice of heaven?

I kinda know that already (see Just Living Life, posted only a few days ago), but I saw this graphic today on Facebook and my reaction really surprised me anyway.

heaven is a slice of normalcyYeah, it’s cute humor, and yeah, there are those who focus on the gun thing and on feminist objections to the father’s protectiveness, but for me what really hit home – and it stopped me in my tracks – was the picture it created in my mind… of having a boyfriend who stood beside me, proud to be with me, and of having the passionate approval and protection of my parents – especially my dad.

Wow!

Funny how the idea of just being part of an almost cliched family experience can be so moving! I see a scene where I am loved and accepted (not just tolerated), protected, desired, wanted, embraced, and where I can have confidence that I belong – and it feels profound.

It seems like just getting back to zero is a major accomplishment for many trans people – and even those whose experiences have been quite positive.

But, I guess heaven is in the small things for everyone. As we strive for money and things and thrills, in a quiet moment it can hit us that genuine love of family and friends is heaven – is the only thing that really and truly matters.

living life - Janie and yummy paella dinner

Just Living Life

In the past, I posted my thoughts on some complex transgender issues, but somehow rarely found time to post about just living life.

Not everything is drama, or even deep. In fact very little is.

We go about our days just living life and being who we are. Sounds boring – and that’s probably why I didn’t write about it before – but if one posts nothing but inner questioning and the like, people tend to get the impression that you are troubled. 😛

So, I’d like to provide a more realistic perspective of my life as a transwoman – largely free of

Read More»