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2011Crossdressing as a Form of Chauvinism
Many male-to-female crossdressers assert that their crossdressing is the highest form of love of women. But is it possible that instead it may just be a form of chauvinism or closed-minded thinking?
Mea Culpa
I am not sitting in judgment of others so much as contemplating my own existence here.
Maybe I overthink these things, but it occurs to me that part of the attraction to being female might be related to somewhat rigidly defined ideas of what is feminine behavior and what is masculine.
Take yoga for example. I just find doing yoga much more appropriate for my girl side; there isn’t much attraction to it from my guy side at all.
Dancing in a club is another. I have had no trouble at all, as a girl, getting out on the dance floor alone, with other girls or with a guy and just dancing for the fun of it; as a guy, it was always part of a mating ritual – goal oriented.
Stress Test
Many CDs find that crossdressing helps relieve their stress. But why?
Could it be that subconsciously they believe that women’s roles involve less control or even responsibility, so that becoming female absolves them of those concerns for a time? In other words, crossdressing is an escape – a way of coping that involves running from who you are and your male responsibilities and assuming a role with less responsibility, i.e., female. How chauvinistic is that?
Just asking the questions… I don’t pretend to understand the truth behind people’s motivations, or even my own.
In a recent comment, one CD made a fascinating point: “But as the years go by, I realize it isn’t the stress of the mortgage, or the business – it’s the stress of conforming to a role in which I’m not 100% myself.”
Maybe she’s right. What do you think?
TinaCortina
Hi Janie
Interesting. I have often thought that many CD’s adhere to sterotypes of women as seen through male eyes, especially in choice of clothes, where I’m guessing some that dress ‘slutty’ are dressing to a degree as they would like their women to dress. The idea of being submissive too is a very chauvanistic perpective, but within a relationship it is the CHANGE in relationship that can freshen it up.
Equally, I think a lot of the stress relief comes less from taking on the submissive role but more from doing something entirely DIFFERENT to their normal (business life), just as ski-ing or mountian walking might work also.
Hugs Tina x
TinaCortina
http://tinacortina.wordpress.com
cdjanie
Tina, your first point kinda plays into my theme – that there is a certain concept of femininity some CDs have that must be adhered to. Your second point is well taken. A simple, elegant explanation that somehow eluded me. Thanks.
trish1700
Like most things, we can analyze this to death. I read once that “we dress to be the woman we will never have”, could be true. When I was dating my first man I once asked “Why do I enjoy this so much?”. His simple answer “Because it’s fun”. That was a good enough answer for me, don’t really think about it.
As for you, I think you are hiding behind the term “cross dresser”. Being a CD and even a transvestite implies you are in it only for the clothes, i.e. wearing panties. I think there is much more to you than that. On a Yahoo sight another t-gal broke down the trans world into 5 groups. Got some people mad, but helped me a lot. I tried to “paste” it here but could not. I posted it as a picture on my Flickr sight The Trish.
Like you, I am not trying to judge or hurt anyones feelings, just trying to navigate away from the Lola’s n the world.
Lola is a local gal who has a Yahoo group for cross dressers, tV’s, tranny’s etc.. Turns out their “thing” is “bring your own condoms” motel parties. Anyone is welcome. They put on cheap wigs, red li[stick, lots of black lacy stuff and have group sex, taking lots of pictures to post on the internet.
I want nothing to do with this. Maybe it is just were I live, but there seems to be a lot of this kinky fetish stuff around.
I hope you read and comment on the Flickr picture. It explains how I feel much better than I can.
Trish DuBois
cdjanie
Trish. I am not hiding behind the term cross-dresser or any other. Fact is, I never refer to myself as a crossdresser. I call myself a t-girl. As to the 5 groups you mention, there is little I agree with in that list, I’m afraid, and I suspect many others would take issue with those classifications as simplistic, and plain wrong. But that is a topic for another time. I will say only 2 things: first, trans is latin for cross; vestite is latin for dresser (more or less) – they are the same thing. Second, none of those 5 classifications, as defined, fits me.
Finally, maybe you’re right. Maybe the best answer is to just enjoy it and not think about it. But then what would I write about…
trish1700
I am missing something, you call yourself CD janie. Are you a compact disk? You also start your posts with the words “cross dressing”. We may not agree, but you do make me think and reading your thoughts is always a pleasure.
Cyrsti
For many years I did hide behind the makeup and dress with a firm belief that women did have it “easier”. The idea began when I was in high school and women didn’t have to face the draft and were admired by the guys and didn’t have to be the aggressors in the dating process.
As I grew older I did discover both genders carried an equal amount of problems.
I always wanted to be a cheerleader rather than a defensive end. It seemed to be easier and less competitive when in fact many of the girls faced a far more competitive envioronment. On the field, you pretty much found out where you stood in a hurry. Not so much in a passive aggressive female world.
In the dating process, I’m finding out how it is to be the “pursued” gender The worries about appearance are just one part. What kind of guy he is if he does notice you if an even bigger problem. All of the sudden I had to worry about what corner he could put me in.
Yes I did get drafted and found and being a participant just might have been as bad as staying waiting home for a guy who may never come .
Ironically, as I came to understand the female lifestyle more, the less I wanted to hide behind it and get out and live it.
But yes in the beginning I surely was a chauvinist!
Great question!
cdjanie
Brilliant and insightful commentary, Cyrsti. There’s a whole blog post in there, and a good one. Thanks for sharing.
cdjanie
Trish, I am always happy to see your comments, and I respect your point of view even when I may not necessarily agree. I do allude to crossdressing and even being a crossdresser, and CDJanie is a play on that, but it stands for Claire Delilah, not compact disc or certificate of deposit or clothes-dryer.
Francesca Richards
Janie,
I don’t know if it is chauvinism, but I do find crossdressing to be condescending to women – and men, for that matter. It labels both and I find the labels it makes (women are beautiful, men are drab; women are adventurous, men are boring; women are sexy; men aren’t; just to name a few) insulting or at least condescending to both.
If , as a white person, I decided I felt like I admired African-Americans so much that I felt I was one (this isn’t a perfect metaphor, but bear with me), and wore blackface to prove it, would African-Americans feel complimented? If I think the best way to show solidarity with the Japanese during the current earthquake/tsunami/nuclear crisis is by putting on traditional Japanese makeup and trying to pass as a geisha, would any Japanese feel flattered?
I think I can safely speak for the majority and say not. I do understand that for most t-girls, it isn’t a choice, but trying to express oneself (which is why my metaphor is imperfect), so I am not addressing that issue, but am ONLY pointing out why the rest of the world (ie, non-t-girls) aren’t especially welcoming or tolerant.
Fran
cdjanie
Thanks for your comment, Fran. You make an interesting point, and there is much to think about there. However, I do think you are trying to stand on both sides of the fence. Your metaphors describe crass and voluntary attempts to costume oneself as a caricature of another culture or race, but then you say that for most t-girls it isn’t a choice and that is why there is little tolerance for us.
You have oversimplified what it means to be a t-girl. I am not sure that the guys who “dress up” as women are the same t-girls for whom this is not a choice. There are t-girls that dress up as women, and there are t-girls that express their womanhood by dressing up. Two very different things.
People distinguish all the time between natural phenomena and ill-advised acts of pretense. It is the latter that tends to invite intolerance – actually more ridicule and offence than intolerance. Some acts of crossdressing are very much in keeping with your metaphors, but many t-girls have a much deeper experience than that. A more appropriate metaphor might be the white rappers or the many changes to white culture that have come directly from the black. Does the black community appreciate these – well that may be up for argument.
The intolerance of t-girls – as with most intolerance – comes from lack of understanding, in my view.