16
2012Bridling Against My Restrictions
It has been quite a comedown, getting back to “normal” after being away.
It’s not that I am under any delusions that my crazy vacation approximates real life; it is more basic than that.
I was female non-stop for a sizable number of consecutive days, and without any restrictions on where I could or couldn’t, or fears of running into anyone.
You may have noticed that I was enjoying myself…
Now, I am back to worrying about my neighbors and certain areas of town – and it feels even more restrictive than before I left.
I am sure I will re-accustom myself to things, but for now it imposes a burden on being Janie that both discourages me from bothering and weighs on me regardless.
The disparity between the way I feel when I am away and when I am home may naturally fade in my consciousness with a bit of time, but I would be a fool to disregard it, or allow it to go unaddressed.
Something’s gotta give… either my actions or my attitude…
Al n Vegas
Janie, you do have to make that decision on your own, and I can’t say anything that will help you; except I have “seen you, through flicker” emerge as a person that dresses to a glorious girl. I don’t know if that hurts, helps, or is just another statement for you to ignore.
Al
cdjanie
Al, I never ignore the things you say. And thanks, it helps. 🙂
Shirley Corning
Um, uh, so what are the neighbors or the people in certain parts of town supposed to do with you? May I suggest you have a charming smile and a shrug ready if you’re caught red handed?
cdjanie
Well, yeah – not so much worried about the moment as the following consequences.
Shirley Corning
How they react at the moment and interact with you is likely to be the same way they’ll act in the future so if they don’t barf and go into convulsions consider it a good sign.
shantown
OMG, Janie. That is probably the most stunning picture I’ve seen! As good as your pictures always are, this one is head and shoulders above the rest! Get it…..”head and shoulders “….see, it’s a picture of your head and ….oh, never mind…lol
Just being sorta silly cause I can’t help with your dilemma. How I wish I could, for your sake and mine, cause then I could help myself with the same problem.
Enjoy the good times you do have, and be strong in whatever decision you make and path you go. Just know that you are one gorgeous lady!
Don’t know if I’m supposed to say this but, I’m praying for ya. S.
cdjanie
I am not necessarily a believer, but I am not so sure of myself as to foreclose the possibility – so I’ll take prayers as much as any other good wishes. Thanks for caring.
paulagee66
Well ain’t that just the thing, there arn’t many of us who can just be who we want to be when we want to be, we worry about what other people will think and how they will behave towards us. I want to say who cares? but eventually I have to answer that to at least some extent I do. So we are all in the same boat.
Shirley Corning
I got my own boat with a high powered outboard motor and raced out of sight about 4 months ago. Good luck in your boats ladies. Yes. There’s an exception to every rule except for a few. lol
just another tranny
It’s a fantasy, Janie. You are in love with your own image. Nice job with the photo shop, BTW.
cdjanie
If you are referring to my apparent cleavage, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that’s the way the light fell. And, BTW, you are an ass.
Ashley
One thing I learned in my transition is NOT TO CARE what other people thought or say even if they have the power to hurt you emotionally or financially. It is MY life, dammit, not yours.
You should develop the same skill. It is YOUR life and you shoulld be free to do what you want with it. If they don’t approve, well they don’t have to share your life. It is their option to stay or leave your life. In either case they should butt out of your decision process.
Being T isn’t illegal or immoral just inconvenient.
David
Move away from where you are to where dressing up isn’t such a big deal…wish you liked guys!
cdjanie
An obvious solution, David, but there are reasons to stay where I am or I would obviously have gone long ago.
And, what makes you think I don’t like guys?