Modeling

“I prefer if I can [spend the day as] the person I feel naturally. But sometimes I can’t, either because I have obligations as a guy, which is not as hard for me to deal with, or because I don’t want to miss an opportunity to go out as a girl when I have the chance. If I force it, I just end up feeling out of sorts.” – Claire Black (Janie)

“I don’t feel trapped in this body… I find that being both sexes is nicer than being just one alone. I think it’s special in a special way. In a different way, it’s a special thing. A lot of people don’t understand it. A lot of people can’t handle it. A lot of people don’t like it. But for those that do, it’s really something unique and special.” – Claire Black (Janie)

“I started doing this, I guess, 4 years ago now. I’m still not sure, even today, if this is something that I’m doing or something that I am. It’s a really big issue for me, because if it’s something that I do, then I have to start asking questions about why I’m doing it. Is it productive? Is it self-destructive? Is it procrastination? Is it guilt? Is it not right? Are you true to yourself? All that kind of stuff. But if it’s something that I am, well, that’s what I am, and I might as well just stop the pretense of a lot of things. But I don’t know that yet. I really don’t.” – Claire Black

“I saw this girl riding her bike, and I looked at her and I thought, “She’s just dressed in a tank top and jeans and those Birkenstock sandals riding a bike somewhere, just in nothing, just whatever. She’s gorgeous. She’s just so beautiful, and she had to do nothing to be beautiful. It didn’t matter what she wore. She was feminine. You knew she was feminine from 10 miles away, and it didn’t matter. I thought about how I would look if I dressed like that. I’d look like a dock worker.” Claire Black (Janie)

“I certainly had some doubts in my mind as to whether or not, sexually speaking, I was appreciating what the women were doing from a man’s perspective or wanting to do those things myself, have their experience as opposed to… I guess, whether I want to interact with them as a guy that way or to want to have their experience myself.” Claire Black (Janie)

“So you try, you waste a lot of money, but eventually, you kind of get an idea of the kind of clothes you should wear, the kind of clothes that you can’t wear, and then you start focussing in. You start building a wardrobe. You start buying boring things like t-shirts, which you never think about in the beginning, right? You start understanding that there is a reason to have 7 different black skirts, because they’re all completely different. You get an idea of what works for you, and so shopping becomes much easier and much less expensive, and you waste a lot less money. And having a girlfriend who shakes her head sometimes is very helpful.” – Claire Black (Janie)

“In the beginning, I think just like pretty much every cross-dresser/T-girl I’ve talked to, it’s kind of like you become an adolescent, sex-crazed teenage girl. You dress like a slut. You wear the shortest skirts, the highest heels, and then you start – some of us – start to focus in on the essence of femininity rather than sexuality, and you kind of mature a little bit.” – Claire Black (Janie)