Introspection

“I saw this girl riding her bike, and I looked at her and I thought, “She’s just dressed in a tank top and jeans and those Birkenstock sandals riding a bike somewhere, just in nothing, just whatever. She’s gorgeous. She’s just so beautiful, and she had to do nothing to be beautiful. It didn’t matter what she wore. She was feminine. You knew she was feminine from 10 miles away, and it didn’t matter. I thought about how I would look if I dressed like that. I’d look like a dock worker.” Claire Black (Janie)

“I certainly had some doubts in my mind as to whether or not, sexually speaking, I was appreciating what the women were doing from a man’s perspective or wanting to do those things myself, have their experience as opposed to… I guess, whether I want to interact with them as a guy that way or to want to have their experience myself.” Claire Black (Janie)

“So you try, you waste a lot of money, but eventually, you kind of get an idea of the kind of clothes you should wear, the kind of clothes that you can’t wear, and then you start focussing in. You start building a wardrobe. You start buying boring things like t-shirts, which you never think about in the beginning, right? You start understanding that there is a reason to have 7 different black skirts, because they’re all completely different. You get an idea of what works for you, and so shopping becomes much easier and much less expensive, and you waste a lot less money. And having a girlfriend who shakes her head sometimes is very helpful.” – Claire Black (Janie)

“In the beginning, I think just like pretty much every cross-dresser/T-girl I’ve talked to, it’s kind of like you become an adolescent, sex-crazed teenage girl. You dress like a slut. You wear the shortest skirts, the highest heels, and then you start – some of us – start to focus in on the essence of femininity rather than sexuality, and you kind of mature a little bit.” – Claire Black (Janie)

“The very first pair of shoes I bought, I bought at a store, I did it on Halloween – or the week before Halloween. That was my cover. It was the kind of place where you could try on the shoes right there. You didn’t have to get a salesperson to get them for you. I’m looking around, at the end of the lane somewhere so no one’s going to see me, and someone did come. “Can I help you?” I’m like, oh, my god. I must’ve turned white. I didn’t have a girl persona to rely on at that point. My hair was short. I didn’t have anything, really. But now… it’s easy.” – Claire Black (Janie)