Nov
07
Gabriela is a friend of mine, whom I have gotten to know through exchanging comments here and on flickr. She is smart and sexy and, of course, has experiences and perspectives to offer that are somewhat different from my own. I enjoyed reading about her experience on Halloween, and she has kindly agreed to share it with my readers.
For my first night out alone (without my usual female bodyguard) last Halloween I figured it would be a good idea to dress modest, at least by Halloween standards.No high heels, no deep cleavage, not much exposed skin, no drag-queen-like makeup, no XXL-sized boobies. Everything low-key.
I went to a public Halloween event and was surprised how much vinyl, leather and latex walks around and seems to be acceptable nowadays.
Very good, my chances to enjoy myself, dance all night and not run into someone who knows my alter ego or is annoying in general were good.
I’m not used to attend such huge public events, even less all alone.
Read More»Nov
05
Wow! Came across these fabulous capri pant looks while responding to a comment on a previous post. Had to share ’em! (More at Fashionising.com)
Nov
05
Ok, maybe a bit melodramatic… maybe saved my feet is more like it.
But, I have never had a love-type relationship with flats. I think that women – and especially tgirls – look much better in heels.
The tgirl aspect is important. Men tend to have larger feet and proportionately shorter legs than women, and heels address both concerns. A bent foot is a smaller foot, and obviously a heel extends the length of the leg.
But, (I can’t believe I am saying this!!) there is a practical aspect to life as a woman. GF will be relentless after hearing me say such a thing, but alas, it is true.
Until now, I have adopted the approach of taking along a pair of running shoes and wearing them on the treks from place to place, then changing into heels where people might see me.
But, aside from being inconvenient and forcing me to have a larger purse at certain times when when I might much prefer having that really cute small one, stuff happens while you’re on the way from A to B.
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Nov
03
Coming across as a woman involves communicating as one – and that’s a much broader concept than one’s actual voice.
Far from the direct and monotone, goal-oriented communication that men use, female speech is differently motivated and but one part of a much more complex form of communication.
To effect a feminine voice, you want to have an acceptable pitch – which is what most of us focus upon. But, there are plenty of women with low voices who are never mistaken for men. So dwell on that for a moment.
Read More»Nov
01
I gave the issues I last wrote about some more thought, and have a few ideas to share.
For me, being female is a joyous and intense state. I am sociable, flirty and “on.” Being a guy is more of a contented and relaxed, comfortable thing. Appropriate adjectives include strong, aware, capable.
Being Janie is still quite stressful for me – not so much about being discovered, or worrying about danger any more, but more about doing things that are outside my comfort zone.
I still have so much to remember to do (and not do) when being a woman, from voice to manner to posture – things that are not yet completely innate to me.
And then, socializing is not something that comes easily to me. Though I have revelled in the friendships and interactions that I have achieved as Janie, meeting people has never been without stress for me.
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Oct
30
I hate to rain on the parade of the “I told you so”’s out there, but my wonder and joy at feeling so feminine while spending a solid week living as a woman has given way to an equal and opposite masculine feeling.
Since I have been back, I have had to be in a male mindset non-stop for almost a week, managing construction and landscaping issues and other business matters. (Don’t ask!)
After all that solid guy time, my intention to switch to girly mode today for a Halloween Party tonight and tomorrow night has met with no small amount of internal resistance.
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Oct
29
During this week, I have made a point of concentrating on the way I speak. I mentioned last time that I took a voice lesson and attended seminars at Fantasia. But, what I want to talk about now is what I am learning from myself, having spent the week focusing on my speech.
This is the first time I have not let myself off the hook in terms of communicating as a woman. In public, in private, alone or on stage, talking to others or to myself (yes, I am nuts!), I insisted from myself that I speak as a woman.
I usually let my guard down when walking on the street or sitting at home talking about stuff with GF. Not this week. If I got upset, I’d often tend to fall back into guy voice to cope; not this week. In fact, any time I found myself faltering in any way, I’d excuse myself and go to the bathroom and regroup (something that became less necessary as the week wore on).
Read More»Oct
28
This Fantasia Fair had a surprisingly intense focus on voice. Three speech pathologists were in attendance, and 4 seminars on offer, as well as private sessions available.
I took full advantage.
My personal assessment of my female voice is that it is not bad, but could stand improvement. I wanted a professional assessment, as well as some tools to use in order to better myself.
So, I met privately with one of the professionals.
The session began with her engaging me in conversation about myself and my interests, while, unbeknownst to me, a spectrometer was measuring my voice.
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Oct
25
The way I see it, sometimes the simplest things are the sexiest.
You can put on a corset and collar, low-cut bustier, micro-mini skirt and fishnet stockings, spiked thigh-high boots and dramatic makeup and you’ll have something screaming sexy, no doubt.
But, in my view, that’s trying too hard. And the results are more shrill than “sexy” should be.
Sexy is a mood, a feeling… it is something sensual and deep rather than painted on superficially. Its subtlety is what makes it so powerful… it is almost an ambush the way it overwhelms its prey…
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Oct
18
Where I come from, having lobster is a pretty special affair, and is therefore to be eaten in finery – tuxedos, gowns, cocktails dresses and such. More to the point, one wants to be dressed in clothing that costs more than the weighty number at the bottom of the bill that arrives once we’re done wiping the melted butter away from our lips.
But, in port towns where lobster comes from, both the food bill and the luxury factor are much diminished. And, as is often the case with food, the less it costs, the better it is. If you doubt my word, ask yourself whether or not an in-season tomato, locally grown, is not cheaper and infinitely more wonderful than the pricey winter tomatoes flown in from southerly climes.
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