(… continued from Roles)

It occurs to me that people generally put no small amount of effort into presenting an image of themselves to the world through the way they dress about who they are and how they want to be seen and treated.

Whether it is the youngster in a t-shirt and ball-cap with his pants hanging well below his underwear or the businessman with a $2,000 suit and professionally selected shirt and tie to complement the look, each has taken a great deal of trouble to send a message about their self-image.

We all know what is likely to be the result of our presentation choices based on our understanding of social norms in society today. Some will go about trying to change these, but most just insert themselves into the existing fabric where they think they want to belong.

(Norms do change over time as people realize that their presumptions about certain people are regularly wrong to their own detriment. A simple example is that most high-end establishments are much more respectful of casually-dressed people these days than they used to be, as they have realized that these days any one of them might be a dot-com billionaire.)

Self-Image

People who give off the impression of being female are treated differently than those who look to be men. Within the female group, there are a multitude of subsets of images and their projections – and one woman may be any number of these depending on her mood, her job, the time of day or whatever.

When I get dressed and go out in the world in female clothes, and groomed to look feminine, I too am communicating my preferences. In the most general sense, I am saying that I want to be treated as female. More specific messages can be gotten from the particular outfit I choose, the way I behave, etc.

I am not trying to fool anyone or surprise anyone. My behavior is entirely in keeping with the image I project, and anyone acting based on what they see from me will encounter a  response consistent with what they might expect from any woman.

“Ah, but you’re not really female, and that’s the deception” one might argue.

But consider… the extent to which I am not female is only a sexual one – and even then only in a limited physical sense. The vast majority of interpersonal contact is not sexual, and so in daily life it should not be relevant.

(And, I am quite conscientious about making sure that people who express a romantic or sexual interest in me know what they need to know early on so as not to embarrass them.)