I had the honor of being asked to do a guest post on Jessica de Leon’s fabulous blog, Jessica Who? To those of you who don’t know Jessica, she is a warm, outgoing, brilliantly funny, and insightful performer and writer. You owe it to yourself to spend some time with her and her friends.

My post, entitled “Second Nature Second-Nature” was published yesterday.  To read it, click here. [Ed. Note: link disabled]

[Ed. Note from the future: It seems Jessica’s online presence has vanished – I really hope she is alright. If anyone has any information on her, please let me know. In the meanwhile, I have disabled the links originally provided – as someone else has taken over her site – and I am reproducing the content originally seen on her site (it is mine, after all), below.]

Second Nature Second Nature

Ever find yourself dancing around the house, feeling all feminine and joyful – or is that just me?

Umm… well, I am sure we all have our moments of inner contentment and happiness at how we are feeling as our female selves.   In my case, just hearing some of my fave tunes when I am feeling that way will soon have me floating around with the music.  (It would be a lot less embarrassing if I could dance at all…)

After I have run off much of the energy, I will often take my celebration to a nearby mirror to enquire as to whether my inner womanhood can be seen on the outside.

To be completely honest, as often as not, I look like a total man-dork.

It’s disappointing, not only because of how much it is at odds with my feelings at those moments, but because I know that when I am going out and living my Janie life, my inner feelings of femininity make all the difference in how feminine I look and behave.

I guess a girl has to be at least a little realistic here.  As often as not, these episodes happen at home, with my hair up in a ponytail, no makeup, super-casual clothes (or PJs) and flats or no shoes at all.  It is a lot to ask that my feelings transform my appearance from one gender to the other without any external assistance.

Also, that guy inside can often peek out when we forget ourselves in moments of unbounded emotion – like in moments of true joy.  My feminine nature is just as real, but I have decades of practice at the male reaction that makes it the default.  Not only that, but a male body has to be made to move like a female – it doesn’t just happen by itself.

I am always disappointed when I feel so feminine and run into my male reflection.  But, I realize that having the gift of being my choice of gender means that, while nothing is automatic, everything is possible.

And, with more experience and practice, my second nature will become, well, second-nature.