Nov
19
2011Needle in a Haystack
I was searching online last night for a bar or nightlife in Manhattan that welcomed t-girls, and came across an interesting, but I guess not altogether surprising, phenomenon:
There is pretty well no way to search for anything tgirl without getting utterly mucked up and mired in pornography and prostitution. The search engines have so much of that crap tied to tgirl, or any synonym, that a search is pretty much useless.
The same, incidentally, is true of blogs.
The vast majority of so-called tgirl blogs are simply ads for porn sites.
Is this an indication of something wrong with us? Or what?
annierose55
Hmmmmm….ya think?
Molly
But the unfortunate part is that this is what people see when they try to get any information on anything trans related…. then make assumptions that we are all sex crazed pervs. My wife supports me on my particular spot on the trans spectrum but her research makes her leery of others. sigh.
cdjanie
Molly, I guess in some respects it is not surprising that it is the ones who want to “show off their stuff” that populate the search results; after all, if you just go about your life in a refined and quiet way, nobody is likely to notice you.
Moreover, the popularity of the results are a function of what others are looking for, and guys who want to search for “tgirl” aren’t usually looking for our life story, if you get my meaning. And, now that I think on it, the whole allure for them is how we are different from GGs – and they need to see the “evidence.”
trish1700
Defining “us” is the problem. We have sort of touched on this subject before. Unlike Trish and Janie I have found most “t-girls” and “gurls” in my area to be cross dressing in various stages simply for sex. Dressing up gives them a great erection and they want someone to play with it. I have also found that many “straight” men seek t-girls because they feel more comfortable performing oral sex if their partner looks like a woman. A local “transvestite” Yahoo group is there mainly to set up group sex “motel parties”. Most of the “gurls” also like to refer to themselves as “hot sluts”, or kinky or sexy. I have almost given up trying to find a t–girl who wants to go to a park, have a drink and just enjoy being out together dressed the way we like.
Trish
Lisa K.
I agree. We are so much better than that just like all GG’s aren’t that either. Like you I wish there was a way to separate the CD/TV life style from tthe societal stymiga that says we do not accept the fact that there are many men out there who wish to be a woman or present as a woman therfore they must be gay or inheritantlly bad. In reality we just want what all the rest of the women want – equality. Have a great day and enjoy Manahatten. Lisa
Petra Bellejambes
Dear Janie
You could always just seek out a wonderful room with great lighting that a stylish woman is treated well in. Good jazz rooms with smart cocktails abound. Petra faves include:
http://www.thecarlyle.com/dining/bemelmans_bar/ or
http://www.tajhotels.com/Luxury/Grand-Palaces-And-Iconic-Hotels/The-Pierre-New-York/Fine-Dining/Two-E-Bar-Lounge-Bar.html
Enjoy NY. A little jealous of you today you know…
(btw, small plug for you on Voyages en Rose today)
xoxo – Petra
cdjanie
Petra, my dear friend,
Thank you so much for the plug, which was in no way little. More than the publicity, I am touched by the sentiments expressed. You are the star!
Thanks also for the tips for NYC. Time is the enemy, but if they are open Sundays, I might just have a chance at one or the other. Is it too much to hope for thar perhaps one day we shall have a chance at a girl’s weekend in New York?
shantown
Not “wrong with us” in general, but maybe wrong with some of us, and therefore wrong with how society views all of us. I think it helps society in general to explain, or disregard us if they view all of us that way. Otherwise, they have to work on understanding that part of the TG spectrum that we represent, and they just can’t get their minds around that…..or simply don’t want to get their minds around that.
Cyrsti
I receive quite a bit of feed back from men who are fairly serious in desiring a first or second relationship with a trans woman that there is no real easy way to do it.
They too get mired down in trans porno sites.
I see the whole affair as just a huge commercial rip off of our culture.
Lets get together and start a site where a man can find a real trans woman…build it up and sell it to E-Harmony!
cdjanie
Ok, doll. Where do I sign up?
Sent from my iPhone
Cyrsti
The first of the year I’m retiring gf to work mostly on my blog, book and of course transition.
I’ll work more on the idea after the holidays!
Speaking of…you have a wonderful one!
Looks as if it’s the last one I will spend as my guy self!
Cyrsti
cdjanie
Wow, Cyrsti! Big life changes! So exciting. I wish you nothing but success and joy in all those pursuits. Happy Holidays! xo
Cyrsti
Thanks Janie! The biggest gift of all is how my daughter has embraced my changes!
Happy Holidays to you too!
cyrsti
cdjanie
Wow, that’s a lovely gift. I’m very happy for you 🙂 xo Janie