It is only 24 hours into Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA (Cape Cod) and I find myself walking down the main thoroughfare of this quaint village exchanging smiles with strangers and waving or stopping for a quick chat with every tenth person I pass as if we are old friends. No, I’m not running for office, nor am I a long-time resident of this place – in fact I have never been here before last night, but I feel like I have the key to the town.

This is Friend-making for Dummies. I tend to be an anti-social sort most of the time. I love having friends and being with them, but I have a small circle of friends and I can’t find the time to treat even that number properly. And, I dread the effort and tedium of meeting new and uninteresting people almost as much as I fear being boring and uninteresting to the people I meet.

But, take a straight guy out of the big city, put him in a dress and a wig and heels and drop her in a small town with other similar people and something amazing happens.

The first thing I did when I got here – even before checking into the hotel – was to go to a social event to meet fellow Fantasia Fair attendees. Everyone there was so very friendly and determined to connect with others. I am not one who thrives at such parties. I tend to forget people’s names, I often don’t know what to say to break the ice, and geez, I was wearing women’s clothes! But even I managed to meet at least 6 people whose names I still remember. The ladies were young, old, tall, short, thin, healthy, pretty and not so pretty. I met a lively middle-aged English lady who has gone further along the transgender road than she initially thought she might, a young Texan who has had no outside social contact until now and who would love to find an understanding GG, an older lady who had plenty of sage observations on the way this community has evolved, a very outgoing and funny person who turns out to be a presenter at the Fair, a friendly truck driver from near where I come from who looked smashing in her goth outfit, etc.

And the next day and following, each of these people remembered me as I remembered them, and as we are all out and about, there are plenty of chances to run into “old friends.”

Many of the attendees use the Fair as one of their only opportunities to be able to dress as women and go out; at home their relationships and communities often make it too scary or dangerous to do. This shared sense of oppression motivates the people here to make the most of their week, and so they are very outgoing. And the relationships they forge here carry over to subsequent years. Also, being part of a fairly easily identifiable and small group, you sort of know even the ones you haven’t yet met. And so, there are many opportunities to say hello or strike up a conversation and meet them, as I did a lovely leggy South African lady. We talked for quite a while on our perceptions and understanding of the crossdressing lifestyle.

But, I’m not used to all this socializing. I am already craving some time and space alone just to let everything sink in. But I had to go register and start deciding on which of the large number of genuinely interesting courses offered I should take. I am also supposed to decide today whether to be in the fashion show. My head is spinning!

More about the Fair coming soon…