It is no secret how much I love being Janie.

But, there are two sides to me, and sometimes I’m just not feeling girly, either because I have my man on, or just because I am in “default mode.”  Janie requires energy – and gives me energy in return – but sometimes, I’m just spent.

Trudging through the snow and sloppy city slush soup of snow, salt and city-grime, to a meeting where I had to be Janie, I just could not channel my inner girl.

It started when I was getting dressed – couldn’t find the right outfit that was cute and stylish but also weatherproof.  Clearly, there are parts of my winter wardrobe woefully wanting.

I made the mistake of starting with a mid-blue skirt that I can never really match to anything, added tights that were a shade off, and a fave top that came close in hue to my only pair of girly winter-ready shoes, then looked in the mirror… and slouched at the sight.

Maybe, a scarf could save the outfit… I tried several and found one I liked.  But, no…  The tights really had to go.  But aaacchhh!  I didn’t want to change those…

“Oh, screw it,” I thought, just as GF passed by with a look of horror at my outfit.  I was getting a bit “frustrated-antsy,” if you know what I mean – kinda on the verge of a tiny tantrum – when she suggested that at least I might trade the skirt for a plain jean-skirt.

Fine, whatever.

It did look a bit better, but nothing I’d want to show off.

At my meeting, I kept hearing this little voice in my head reminding me that I was sitting wrong, speaking too much and not caring enough about my voice and posture… but I just kept doing it.  (I’m sure my companion will be pleased to hear how much internal overhead was being spent on irrelevant, self-absorbed drama.)

It would have been great if I could have stepped outside myself for a second and given myself a swift kick in the butt while barking, “Smarten up!!”

But, that’s not ladylike either, now is it?